Press Release: What Have I Been Up To???

Answer: Everything! I cannot begin to describe how busy the last months have been and how they have completely breezed past me- as I'm sure is the case with most people. So it's been difficult to get to writing for a number of reasons. I've been sick (I'm sick again right now), I've been partying, I've been singing, I've been writing songs, working a lot, and so on.

First off: I really wanted to write about Halloween. It was so much fun! I dressed as Amy Winehouse and did the beehive and everything. A few people even recognized my costume and I danced the night away until about six in the morning! I went with a very good friend of mine to a weird, out-of-way club near the central train station. It was an interesting experience, because it was the first time I really noticed so many people reacting toward me in a positive way. After leaving an emotionally abusive relationship, it gave me a huge surge of confidence when I was at the party and people would repeatedly tell me that I'm nice, sweet, or otherwise! That might sound a little sad, but that was what 2014 was for me- sad. So I had an absolutely great night that evening.

November went completely over my head. It was over so fast (as was/is December) that I can't even remember a lot of exactly what went on. What I do know for sure is that I wrote new songs that I am VERY proud of and excited about!!!!!!! Finally finally the album is starting to take a specific shape and direction- basically the experiences I've collected over the past two years. So I've written a few new songs entitled:

Tell Me Why (about my mistakes with love)
Got a Girl (when you like someone but they're unavailable, but you dream on anyway)
Take a Seat (I might compare this to You Know I'm No Good, it's got that kind of style and a similar energy. Basically a more defiant song when it comes to relationships that don't work)
More Than Fine (this is when you've broken up or been rejected or similar and everyone is like 'RU OK' and you're like 'I'm fine! I'm great! Excellent! More than fine!' and you kinda overdo it)

So obviously those are the kinds of things I've gone through in the past two years. I am really excited about each and every one of those songs because finally I am getting into songwriting that I myself like and personally find good and want to listen to. It's all very jazzy music, definitely a nod to my hero Amy Winehouse. But it's still me and my thoughts, so it'll be interesting when we record them and are able to release them- but that's still going to take a while. The plan right now is to get a diverse demo of 5 songs together and send them off in January to the A&R's (artists and repertoire) of various record labels, and see if anyone is interested in meeee :) wish me luck!

November was also partially a sad month for me. I lost a friend of mine from school (in the U.S.) that month, and one day later I learnt of the terrorist attacks in Paris. I asked myself, why all this death, violence, and killing? I'm not sure what to make of it, and both events (occurring so close to one another time-wise) hit me very hard. Especially the loss of someone I knew personally, went to school with, would laugh and talk with... It was a difficult time for sure, and my heart continues to go out to the family of Lexi Dressel.

Moving on to December, this month has also been busy, with christmas markets, drinking hot mead (honey wine! YUM), Glühwein (also yum!), giving tours and trying to manage everything in between... Well, I also made some particularly interesting experiences this month as well ;) I won't be too specific, but I'll say I made an experience recently that gave me the power to carry on with my life and believe in myself fully again, and also believe in the possibility of falling in love again. Many of my close friends know how difficult it was for me to detach from my ex, and it was a very public matter, and difficult time. Even after we officially "broke up," we'd start talking again, meet up from time to time, and it just turned into this nonsensical cycle. So while we've been separated since August, it still has taken some time to really get past the whole thing. Lately I've felt better and been able to fully move on. It's a process and I've allowed myself time for it, but I also had difficulty believing I'd be able to find love again. Well, I'm not in love right now, but events in December have shown me that I definitely can be again someday. And that gives me hope.

Look at me, getting all sappy on you... ;)

Christmas time was peaceful and not busy for me. I had a friend of mine over for dinner and we played games and watched movies, it was quite pleasant. Unfortunately at the same time I grabbed myself strep throat, which developed into tonsillitis, which caused a short bout of pinkeye, and now is turning into laryngitis. Merry Christmas to me! I had tonsillitis two years ago and treated it with antibiotics, this time I didn't want to go to the doctor because it was Christmas so I would've had to go to the ER, which I didn't care to visit a 5th time this year thank you. So I'm letting my body heal itself, drinking obscene amounts of ginger-lemon tea, eating homemade soup and superfoods, etc. It is all helping but is taking some time (and add to giving tours to upwards of 40 people every day, it can get a bit straining). But I am already over the hill and on the road to recovery.

How were your holidays? I hope you all had a wonderful time with your families and loved ones. Over the next few days I'll write another post to wrap up/summarize 2015 and begin 2016.

Most of all: HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Lots of love and best wishes for 2016 (what are your resolutions?? have any?)
India xox

Music for the mood: Never Ending Circles by CHVRCHES

Best Tour of My Life! (So far...)

Okay, so I really have to say that my tour this Saturday was probably one of my all-time favorites and where I earned the most money ever!

Crazy. I had a really really fun group. They all laughed a lot at my jokes, and seemed to have a really good time! And they all showed it. I can't even hardly describe it. So it started out like any other tour, I start talking about Munich and Marienplatz (the main downtown square of the city, also our tour's meeting point), but everyone was really fun and attentive and it didn't even feel like work. And as many of you may know, my colleagues and I work on a tips-only basis for our city tour, so Saturday was really really swell. I really hope I have more amazing tours in this coming (OKTOBERFEST- 2 WEEKS AWAY) season!!

I'm not even sure what it was that day, but I have a feeling I am just regrowing my confidence. To be completely blunt, living in Austria was very damaging to me personally. I think it's a beautiful country and learned a lot while living there but most of the people I spent my time around did not build me up as a person. My inner self decayed. I lived wrongly for the entirety of 2014. And by wrong, I mean, I wasn't actually living for myself, I wasn't making myself happy, I was just trying to make sure other people approved of and liked me. It sounds very pathetic, and it was. I changed nearly everything about myself last year. I was too loud and obnoxious, so I became reserved and soft-spoken. I apparently looked like a bimbo with my platinum blonde hair, so I dyed it down to darker blonde (and severely damaged my hair in the process, leaving me with partially long hair, partial bowl-cut). I was too "girly," so I stopped wearing high heels. I was too "fake," so I stopped wearing makeup. I was too "arrogant," so I stopped even trying to be social. It seemed for a time that everything I did was wrong. It felt like people were judging and watching my every move, more than ever before. I made sure to give people gifts, compliments, thank them 20 times for hospitality, all in order to avoid leaving the wrong impression.

Now I know 2014 is long behind us (ugh can you honestly believe 2016 is four months away- yikes), but as I mentioned in my introductory post, I also got out of a relationship recently that was very much "feeding" those messages to my mind, so to speak. So what I'm saying is now, things are changing for me. I feel better. Just truly better. I'm dressing the way I want, wearing makeup, and truly being myself with people, which feels so right after such a long time of hiding.

It may seem trivial- hairstyle, makeup, clothing. But those details are a part of the way I express my true self, and when someone stops you from expressing yourself or even discourages you from doing so, it's a little disempowering, or at least for me it was. So here I am, the real India, coming back to finally get my life moving in the way I want. So I just have to imagine that my tour on Saturday was just a reflection of the inner success I am experiencing. I don't mean to sound my own horn, all I can say is that at the moment I am elated and truly excited for both the present and future.

Friday night was a party of some newer friends of mine- and I'll just say it was a little crazy. You know the drill- Munich + Beer + Party ;)
I had a good time getting to know a lot of new people from all over the world! But the party went on til 4:30am (as a good house party should)! So I definitely had an interesting weekend, conversing with people all kinds of different topics- music, world issues, personal, etc.

The only thing I want to address here though is a little something about myself and the way I communicate with the outside world. Here on my blog and in "real life," I can be a very open person. Anyone who has conversed with me for longer than five minutes would probably recognize that easily. I find strength in being able to be open and honest about my life, and those things I choose to share, I am happy to be open about. However, when people up and ask me very personal questions without getting to know me well-
well, let's just say I will close up. I guess that may seem hypocritical- but the point is, I choose what I want to share with the world and like every other person will appreciate personal privacy and do not appreciate prying. Certain details I will share with my friends and the public when I'm ready!

I mean, you guys know how open I am to talk about anything. Here I am only referring to a specific incident from the weekend where I was asked some very personal questions from someone I did not know well. I know people generally mean well- but it still made me a teensy bit uncomfortable!

I know if I ever hope to have a career in music, I will probably have to deal with plenty of nosey questions. But I'm not famous now. And like I said, while I may be very up front about myself and my life, I do enjoy being able to choose what I share and what I don't- I'm sure you can relate???

I hope so at least. I'm not sure exactly how to formulate these words.
In any case, I am truly happy that you are here, reading, and I'm so excited for the things I'll be able to tell about in the future.

This week, I'll be working, writing music, developing content for my very first music video (OMG!!!! Juicy details to come...), and curling my hair ;)

Happy Tuesday!

Music for the morning: Me and Mr. Jones by Amy Winehouse (love love love)