Love Will Tear Us Apart (Again)

I'm back! I'm really really back!

After taking exactly one year-long hiatus from writing and blogging, I'm back with a new blog, new ideas, and a fresh take on my life.

So what has all changed in one year?

Well, for starters (and to state the obvious), I'm older. I turned 20 almost three months ago (I know, I know, I'm practically an old maid- so my friends like to remind me).
Secondly, I ended basically the worst relationship ever. It took me forever to do, but I've mustered up the courage to make a final cut and change in my life, a long needed one. (Remember all that stuff I wrote about in my old blog, Dutch, Deutschland, Definitely? Well guess who didn't take their own advice all the while!).
And probably most notably, I live in MUNICH once again! My home! The city that I adore!

It's a tough topic to consider. People all have their own points of view on the matter- all I know is, I was in a relationship that did not serve me, it did not add to my quality of living, it made me tired, depressed, irritable, and so on. All my friends noticed how I felt in and outside of it all I can say is, it is REALLY good to be single again! I am celebrating every day. I mean jeeeeeez, I'm only 20, I need my freedom, ya know?

Don't get me wrong, I don't mean this at all in a snarky teenage-angst way (well I kinda do). He was a nice person. The relationship taught me a lot. I learned a lot about my own inner strength, about my character, who I really am, and all of that motivational movie stuff. No but seriously, I feel like I've personally come a long way in a year.

My goals are clearer. I'm so much closer to finishing my album, here are a couple of the titles (I can't give away all my secrets, now can I?!)

Not The Same
Vollgas/Nonstop (two versions of the same song; one in German, one in English)

Plus a few more that I can't name yet. Right now I'm working on finishing three of my favorites; a new song called Runner, an older one called I Told You No, and finally, song VERY very personal to me, Irresistible. It sounds maybe kind of like a cliché title, but it's actually about my struggles with this last relationship and how it almost felt like an addiction to me. I couldn't break free in my mind of my own emotions- it's crazy when you actually deal with something like that inside (and more!).

a very blurry picture of me enjoying a Maß at the Oktoberfest

So yeah, it's been a crazy year obviously. Let me try to recall what exactly has happened between the last time I blogged and now. Last post was August 30th, 2014, so in September 2014 I joined my Mum for one day at Oktoberfest, then my ex-partner and I flew to England.

England was sweet, and I'll be returning in October!!! Last year we spent three weeks in Bristol, while also visiting Wales (wild herb hunt on Hay Bluff!), Cornwall (Pasty's!), and Glastonbury (hippies and glitter everywhere!). What I didn't get to do though was visit London, and now I'm going back just to spend a week in that city. Actually, I've developed a fascination with London this summer. 

Hay Bluff, Wales- was actually stunning

It all started when I saw a little clip on the Grammy's Facebook page of Amy Winehouse accepting her Grammy for Best Album. I never knew much about Amy. When Back to Black came out I remember my Dad bought the CD. Rehab. Big hair and tattoos. That was it. When I saw this small 30-second clip, suddenly I was fascinated by this gal. I especially wondered why she died so young. So I watched a couple of videos on Youtube about this troubled young woman. I went and saw the documentary Amy twice in theaters (if you ever want to have a nice cry, be sure to check it out). And suddenly I became aware of what a huge talent and brilliant soul the world lost in July 2011. Suddenly I wanted to know about this place where she had "made it," about Camden, the pub scene, music in the British Isles (Ireland/Northern Ireland, Scotland, Wales, England) in general (my favorite musicians EVER come from those countries: The Cure, New Order, Belle and Sebastian, CHVRCHES, obviously The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, The Smiths, Queen, Coldplay, Joy Division, Hozier and SO many more).

Poster for film "Amy"- by Asif Kapadia (photo does NOT belong to me)

So I'm going to London for a week to explore the city, get to know it better, and just have fun! I'll go to pubs, visit museums, see Big Ben and all that typical London stuff!

Shortly after Bristol September 2014, began a relatively quiet period until everything came to a head in December. Personal situations intensified and I made the decision to move back to Munich on my own, right around Christmas time. I found a quiet shared flat near the village of Dachau (getting to downtown Munich only takes 20 mins by train) and since then my quality of living has constantly stabilized and improved. Although since then I will say I've been to the ER twice (once was food poisoning on a holiday, another time was for tests for appendicitis, which I luckily didn't have!), and I've had the flu three times (the last time was on my birthday) :(
An intense year indeed! I've met a lot of random new people (some came, some went), tried new things, and basically spent my time doing what 20-year-olds do I guess- shop, eat take-out twice a week, get jumbo cocktails at happy hour, work, write music, sleep, and do laundry on the occasion ;)

I've also started giving a new tour in July (well, new to me). Before then I was always giving the city walking tour of Munich and the tour to the castle Neuschwanstein (soooooooo much Ludwig II you wouldn't believe). Now I've started giving the Third Reich walking tour through Munich. It lasts three hours, and I'm pretty sure it's my favorite tour to give, because out of the three tours, it's the one where you can leave behind the most positive impact/inspiration for the world today. It's a very negative topic, talking about where the Nazi party had its roots in Munich and how they came to power. But at the end you can basically leave people with the thought and connection to our present day, like are the times we live in now very different? Can we honestly believe that we have done away with intolerance, racism, classism, etc.? Of course when you ask such questions, most people walk away thinking, 'no, it really isn't that different.' And that we need some big changes in this world, and I think those are some very important messages to convey.

Besides this, I'm slowly dipping my feet back into the pool of writing (so to speak). I must confess- writing was legitimately hard for me last year. It didn't come naturally anymore. I just could not, did not want to write. I had so much going on in my life and mind that I couldn't possibly organize anything I wanted to say. So I gave up blogging, and I didn't write any new music for a long time, albeit I tried, and everything was coming out mostly very contrived so that I just gave up. I guess that's what you call writer's block, but that's not how it felt to me. At least I knew that it was dependent on my living situation, and that I in general was "blocked" myself, and my life had absolutely no flow to it.

So in any case, I'm really happy to be back here writing and sharing with you guys, my readers, the people who seem to be somewhat interested in what I have to say! Of course I hope that eventually this will stay the platform for me to share what's going on in my life as I progress through my projects with music, make videos, release an album, and eventually tour. Besides that it will just be the same me as ever- my thoughts on life, what's going on, and what I'm into at the moment (HAVE YOU LISTENED TO THE WEEKND BTW), haha!

Thanks for reading, you'll hear from me soon again ;)
Lots of Love
India

(Music for starters: obviously Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division)