Okay, so I really have to say that my tour this Saturday was probably one of my all-time favorites and where I earned the most money ever!
Crazy. I had a really really fun group. They all laughed a lot at my jokes, and seemed to have a really good time! And they all showed it. I can't even hardly describe it. So it started out like any other tour, I start talking about Munich and Marienplatz (the main downtown square of the city, also our tour's meeting point), but everyone was really fun and attentive and it didn't even feel like work. And as many of you may know, my colleagues and I work on a tips-only basis for our city tour, so Saturday was really really swell. I really hope I have more amazing tours in this coming (OKTOBERFEST- 2 WEEKS AWAY) season!!
I'm not even sure what it was that day, but I have a feeling I am just regrowing my confidence. To be completely blunt, living in Austria was very damaging to me personally. I think it's a beautiful country and learned a lot while living there but most of the people I spent my time around did not build me up as a person. My inner self decayed. I lived wrongly for the entirety of 2014. And by wrong, I mean, I wasn't actually living for myself, I wasn't making myself happy, I was just trying to make sure other people approved of and liked me. It sounds very pathetic, and it was. I changed nearly everything about myself last year. I was too loud and obnoxious, so I became reserved and soft-spoken. I apparently looked like a bimbo with my platinum blonde hair, so I dyed it down to darker blonde (and severely damaged my hair in the process, leaving me with partially long hair, partial bowl-cut). I was too "girly," so I stopped wearing high heels. I was too "fake," so I stopped wearing makeup. I was too "arrogant," so I stopped even trying to be social. It seemed for a time that everything I did was wrong. It felt like people were judging and watching my every move, more than ever before. I made sure to give people gifts, compliments, thank them 20 times for hospitality, all in order to avoid leaving the wrong impression.
Now I know 2014 is long behind us (ugh can you honestly believe 2016 is four months away- yikes), but as I mentioned in my introductory post, I also got out of a relationship recently that was very much "feeding" those messages to my mind, so to speak. So what I'm saying is now, things are changing for me. I feel better. Just truly better. I'm dressing the way I want, wearing makeup, and truly being myself with people, which feels so right after such a long time of hiding.
It may seem trivial- hairstyle, makeup, clothing. But those details are a part of the way I express my true self, and when someone stops you from expressing yourself or even discourages you from doing so, it's a little disempowering, or at least for me it was. So here I am, the real India, coming back to finally get my life moving in the way I want. So I just have to imagine that my tour on Saturday was just a reflection of the inner success I am experiencing. I don't mean to sound my own horn, all I can say is that at the moment I am elated and truly excited for both the present and future.
Friday night was a party of some newer friends of mine- and I'll just say it was a little crazy. You know the drill- Munich + Beer + Party ;)
I had a good time getting to know a lot of new people from all over the world! But the party went on til 4:30am (as a good house party should)! So I definitely had an interesting weekend, conversing with people all kinds of different topics- music, world issues, personal, etc.
The only thing I want to address here though is a little something about myself and the way I communicate with the outside world. Here on my blog and in "real life," I can be a very open person. Anyone who has conversed with me for longer than five minutes would probably recognize that easily. I find strength in being able to be open and honest about my life, and those things I choose to share, I am happy to be open about. However, when people up and ask me very personal questions without getting to know me well-
well, let's just say I will close up. I guess that may seem hypocritical- but the point is, I choose what I want to share with the world and like every other person will appreciate personal privacy and do not appreciate prying. Certain details I will share with my friends and the public when I'm ready!
I mean, you guys know how open I am to talk about anything. Here I am only referring to a specific incident from the weekend where I was asked some very personal questions from someone I did not know well. I know people generally mean well- but it still made me a teensy bit uncomfortable!
I know if I ever hope to have a career in music, I will probably have to deal with plenty of nosey questions. But I'm not famous now. And like I said, while I may be very up front about myself and my life, I do enjoy being able to choose what I share and what I don't- I'm sure you can relate???
I hope so at least. I'm not sure exactly how to formulate these words.
In any case, I am truly happy that you are here, reading, and I'm so excited for the things I'll be able to tell about in the future.
This week, I'll be working, writing music, developing content for my very first music video (OMG!!!! Juicy details to come...), and curling my hair ;)
Happy Tuesday!
Music for the morning: Me and Mr. Jones by Amy Winehouse (love love love)
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